On the journey to a healthy and successful relationship, another attitude to muster is the attitude of forgiveness. Forgiveness is an essential and valuable aspect of a relationship and personal well-being. When you read Matthew 18: 21-22, peter, a disciple of Jesus, asks how many times we should forgive, and Jesus tells him 490 times a day, that is seventy times seven. This may seem like an outrageous number because, as people, we are used to calculating the damage done to us and never the damage we do to others. I wonder what Jesus would have said if he was asked, How many times should people forgive us. Although the answer is probably the same, and it is technically the same question, the dynamics shifts slightly; we are on the receiving end of forgiveness. Does that number now appear differently to you? Is it too big or too small a number? What are your thoughts?
The idea here is unlimited forgiveness because that is what we will want for ourselves. Without getting too biblical about how the number 7 is the number of completion, I will say this, because we are forgiven, we must forgive. How do we apply this concept of forgiveness when it comes to relationships? I will not say unlimited forgiveness is required for successful relationships. It implies no limit to how much hurt one party is supposed to take. There is a point at which one must decide to be done with the relationship when the hurt is repetitive and becomes toxic. When it comes to forgiveness, either do it or don't. When your partner does something too hurtful, it is crucial to decide whether to forgive. Forgiveness does not have to be in the moment; we often require time to think about how we genuinely feel about the action taken against us. Can I let this go? How does this really affect me? Is this the type of thing I expect to be dealing with? Asking such questions can illuminate how you genuinely feel about the situation. As the offended, you have every right to time to process and come to a decision.
When you have decided to be honest with your partner. And if you choose to forgive, forgive and be done with it. Do not continually bring up details of the hurt or keep reminding your partner of their faults and failures to hold them hostage, demoralize or belittle them. This in no way benefits anyone in the relationship. Now, if your decision is not to forgive, let your partner know and move on. That does not mean the relationship is over; There are avenues of professional help if you both so desire, or if not, you can go your separate ways. What you do not want to happen is to say you have forgiven the person when you haven't.
Forgiveness is a valuable and essential aspect of healthy relationships
and personal well-being. It can help to:
1. Reduce negative emotions: Forgiveness can help to reduce anger, resentment, and other negative emotions that can harm our mental and physical health.
2. Improve relationships: Forgiving others can help repair and strengthen relationships by allowing us to move past conflicts and move forward positively.
3. Promote emotional well-being: Forgiveness can help to increase feelings of hope, compassion, and overall well-being.
4. Enhance physical health: Research has shown that forgiveness can positively affect physical health, including lower blood pressure, improved heart health, and reduced stress and anxiety.
Forgiveness is not always about the offender, but it has to do a lot with the one offended. So an understanding will contribute to the ability to harness forgiveness. For the person forgiving, letting go of negative emotions like anger and resentment can be challenging: If the person being forgiven has caused them significant pain or harm. However, forgiveness can bring a sense of liberation and be an essential step toward healing and moving from the past.
The person being forgiven's experience varies depending on the context and severity of the harm or offense. For example, some people may feel relieved and grateful to be forgiven. In contrast, others may feel remorseful or guilty for their actions. In some cases, forgiveness may be difficult for that person, especially if they do not feel they have adequately addressed the harm they caused.
Overall, forgiveness can be essential for resolving conflicts, improving relationships, and promoting emotional and physical well-being
